Monday, November 2, 2015

Homework - Favorite Part of Story and Why!

Roses Garden - Set Up/My Story

Sarah stared at her wall and blinked. A light flashed in her face, and a microphone lay on the edge of her bed. As Sarah lifted up to see what the time was she slowly saw the clock move to 2:00 A.M. There was sweat coming down her cheek she felt it hit her lip, the salty tear hit her tongue making her cringe from the sour taste.

I like this particular part of my story because I think that it was a descriptive, emotional, and fright feeling once you start to read. Most of my story has to be touched up very well! But I think that the beginning which is this paragraph will lead me to think brighter and better with ideas for my FINAL COPY!

3 comments:

  1. Isabelle, thank you for sharing this passage from your story. I really like the details you've incorporated like when she "cringes from the sour taste." It makes ME cringe as your reader!

    I do have a question about the sweat though...WHY is she sweating? Is this something we're going to find out later in the story? I just want to be sure there's a reason for it that makes sense to your reader.

    Excited to read more!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Isabelle, you've did an awesome job with this story. You showed a lot of detail that talks about the story.I like how your were showing a lot of expression to this story. You was talking more about the character Sarah, than the story.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Isabelle, you've did an awesome job with this story. You showed a lot of detail that talks about the story.I like how your were showing a lot of expression to this story. You was talking more about the character Sarah, than the story.

    ReplyDelete